The other day, we were talking about Shades of Grey again, and how we all read through the three books, even though we hated them.
Why did we do that?
Scared to miss something, like that really dreadful party which I refused to leave even after I had an argument with someone, because I was scared that all would change as soon as I left, and then I`d regret it?
Scared not to be able to participate in the chat? Everybody, I mean, absolutely everybody, was talking about Shades of Grey, and it was almost as if you got respect for being further on, more “in the know”. And we egged each other on. “Are you there yet?” – “Have you read that bit yet?” – “Oh, you MUST!” Peer pressure kept us going.
And three years on, we all went on to see the film and then complained about that.
Actually, when I think about it, I stuck with a lot of things I didn`t enjoy – because it was easy, or because I didn`t want to be seen quitting. Friendships, jobs. With the jobs, I suppose I was just lethargic. It didn`t really occur to me that I could just leave. I was good at my job and scared to have that taken away from me when I start out afresh elsewhere. And I stuck with negative friendships, because at least it was a friendship, and having friends is always good. And neither am I one of those “fairweather friends” who will leave a friend when s/he needs me most. And I stuck with the book because I was expecting it to become interesting at last with every page I turned. They couldn`t all be wrong!
If I think about all the hours, months and years I have wasted sticking with things which weren`t good for me… I better not.
There`s nothing wrong with letting go, as I prefer to call it. It makes space for things I`d rather do. It sheds baggage. And it makes letting go easier for the future. As once you`ve done it once, you`ll be suprised how easy it is, how empowering even.
Still, it sometimes is a fine line…